My Friend, the Convict

So a few months ago one of my friends made a dumbass choice to drink and drive and got pulled over.  Luckily the only thing hurt was his pride. I can also say that he hasn't driven drunk at all since then.  By the way, we'll call him Moe. 

This is what Moe looked like over the weekend.



Moe got to spend the weekend in the clink making up for his poor decision making.  This was our textual conversation once he got out today.

Moe: Freeeeeeeedooooom!!! 

Me: Jail bird!!  How's life on the outside?

Moe: I don't know yet.  I'm still adjusting.  I am staaaaarving though!

Me: You better eat something you've been dreaming about from the inside.

Moe: I know!  I'm totally gonna pig out somewhere once I check my computer for messages and hop in the shower to get the smell of criminal off me.

Me: You might be able to get some chicks with that smell especially if you hit a McDonald's or a Walmart.  *shrugs*

Moe: *laughs* Why didn't I think of that?!  That's a FANTASTIC idea!

Me: Hell, I don't know!  Is it too late?  Are you part of the clean man club, or can ya still catch a few dirties?

Moe: Oh I still got the stank on me.  Women of the Walmart, WATCH OUT!

Me: They will flock to you!  People will mistake you for the free government peanut butter and cheese line!! 

Moe didn't find that very funny.  Oopsie!!  I'm so inappropriate sometimes!